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Use Unrequited Love to Become More Desirable – in 3 Simple Steps

Use Your Crush for Personal Growth

So you have been watching this girl / guy for sometime now.  You fancy them like crazy and think about them all the time.  All the clichés are happening to you.  Anytime you hear their name you can’t help but smile and your stomach does a flip.  Everything they do is perfect.  Their smile is dazzling.  They can do nothing wrong.  You feel like a bumbling idiot around them.  You don’t feel worthy.  You imagine the two of you together but don’t know how to make it a reality. Okay, you get the idea.

If you ever find yourself at this point, as powerless as you feel, you can use the situation to your advantage.  In fact, you must use it because this is a very useful place to be in.

Here is what you need to do.

Step 1

Whatever it is that you can’t get enough of in this person, figure out what it is:

Are they graceful?  Confident? Stylish? Infectiously happy?  Carefree?  Kind?  A good listener?  Do they move their body with fluidity and strength in a way you wish you could?  Can they command the attention of a room?  Do they have sparkling eyes that show the goodness of their soul?

Step 2

Whatever it is that you are idolizing about them, realize that the ONLY reason you are able to appreciate this beauty is because it is the very same beauty that lives within you but is not being expressed properly at this moment.

It is precisely this unfulfilled need in you that is making you take so much notice of this person.  If this aspect was being expressed properly, you would not be so admiring of the object of your affections.   This is not to say that when you are healthy and expressing yourself fully and tuning into your own beauty and in balance that you will not be attracted to other people.  You will.  It is just that the aspect of lustful yearning will dissipate as you become healthier and more true to yourself.  After all, this kind of thing is the stuff teen crushes on Justin Beiber are made of and, once we become adults, we should be ready to move away from that.  Because real love looks and feels quite a bit different from this.  Genuine love is calmer, without objectification and without comparisons.

You have a block you need to clear within yourself to let this same beauty shine out of you and that is why you yearn so deeply for it in others.   It is bursting to get out of you.  This beauty is calling to you, asking you to pay it attention in yourself.

Once you truly understand this secret you will realise how powerful you are.

Step 3

Make the decision to stop focusing on your desire for the other and start feeling this quality (and living it and loving it) within yourself.

If you have trouble doing this (as most people will to begin with), visualise yourself expressing that quality until you start to live and breathe that quality.  If you are still struggling, simply feel yourself “being” your crush.  Fake it until you make it.  Even if it starts out as a mind trick, it becomes reality.

If applied properly, this can open the door to a completely new way of relating to the world.  What you want never has to be something outside of yourself but rather an opportunity for healing and growth.

And this is what makes people truly desirable.  When you understand this secret, then the beauty you wanted to be close to is not just close to you… it is shining out of you.

Once you master this lesson, you will be the one that others will be yearning to have close to them.

Did this help you?  

Photo: mcatx

{ 4 comments… add one }
  • Ignacio January 7, 2014, 11:51 am

    Loved your post, it is a real pleasure to read your blog.

    • Layla January 7, 2014, 11:58 am

      Thanks Ignacio, what lovely feedback to receive.

    • Jayden March 30, 2016, 3:47 am

      A bit surspired it seems to simple and yet useful.

  • Ryan September 9, 2015, 10:17 am

    Great post! I experienced the spiritual impact to this realization just a few hours ago.. funny I stumble upon this now =)

    I realized I have to love myself the same way I love my love. I imagined her explaining to me the reason I love her was because of something I brought out of her by my sheer presence. There’s never been a time I witnessed her when I wasn’t present, ya know?
    Then I felt her fuse into me. I felt her feel around my body for a while. Then I felt myself fuse into her body. I felt around to see what it was like to view from her perspective. To be in her body. I still have yet to come to the everlasting realization that we are the same. I had a pretty big taste of it today, but unfortunately it didn’t permanently imprint onto my subconscious. Need more practice I guess

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